


Better with You

by Burgie



Series: WillowxAlex AU [6]
Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:02:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Willow finally feels ready to share her body with Alex, but the nerves and doubts still grip her. Willow belongs to willownorthbook.





	Better with You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willownorthbook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willownorthbook/gifts).



Ever since they’d started dating, Willow had always felt like she wasn’t good enough for Alex. It just nagged at her, a constant in the back of her mind, the constant fear that Alex would find someone better, that Alex deserved better. It wasn’t that she thought that Alex was another Kai, not at all, Alex was too good for that, too nice, she valued loyalty too much to stray from her girlfriend.

But sometimes… when they’d make out and Willow would pull away suddenly, too shy to continue, or when Willow would make sure that there was a decent amount of space between them, even when they shared a bed… those times, Willow felt like she deserved for Alex to stray. That this was why Kai had strayed, which she knew was the truth. But Alex wouldn’t stray, she’d just leave her. And that would somehow be better than cheating.

Tonight, though, Willow had made up her mind. But her fingers still trembled as her thumb hovered over Alex’s contact in her phone. Taking a deep breath and squeezing her eyes shut, Willow tapped on Alex’s name and made the call.

“Hey,” said Willow, her voice shaky when Alex answered.

“Willow, hey,” said Alex, and Willow could hear the grin in her voice. It made her heart race just that little bit more, almost sending her into an anxiety attack. She tried to remember to breathe, though. “What’s up? You sound scared.”

“No, I’m fine,” said Willow, her hand coming up to play with her hair. “Just- do you wanna come over? I want to show you something.” Yeah, something like her naked body for the first time, something like what only Kai had seen, something like- Willow closed her eyes, trying to force herself to stop thinking about it.

“When you sound like that? Try and stop me,” said Alex, ending the call with a quick ‘love you’. Willow murmured the words back to empty air, her hand shaking so badly that she nearly dropped the phone.

She felt stupid now, sitting here in the lingerie that Roo had helped her pick out with a robe around her. She’d gotten all dressed, all ready, her body was ready, but her mind was still screaming at her to stay away, to just go and change back into comfier clothes, to stop being so stupid and dirty. And in turn, those thoughts led to more self-loathing, that she shouldn’t be feeling like this. Willow closed her eyes against the tears, curling into the back of the couch as she trembled.

A knock on the door made Willow sit up after a while of moping, though. She felt sick, her mouth dry, her body still trembling.

“Is that you, Alex?” she asked, surprised that she could still speak around the tightness in her throat.

“Yeah, it’s me,” said Alex. Willow took a deep breath, trying to ignore the mounting terror. But her legs felt numb as she walked towards her front door. And then, before she could chicken out, Willow opened the door, resisting the urge to close her eyes. But what if someone walked past, what if someone saw, what if Alex didn’t come alone, what if-

“Surprise,” said Willow, feeling a rush of relief as she saw the look of amazement spread across Alex’s face.

“Woah,” said Alex, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of Willow standing there in her lingerie. Not that much of it could be seen, Willow wouldn’t dare loosen her robe where people might see. But she could see the curve of Willow’s cleavage, the top of the lingerie just barely peeking out above the top of her robe, which she’d at least left open to reveal the cleavage.

“I told you I had something to show you,” said Willow with a laugh that she hoped sounded sexy. But Alex was looking at her reddened eyes, at the way that Willow’s fingers kept twitching to the collar of her robe in an attempt to close it.

“Are you sure?” asked Alex as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her in the hope that Willow would relax a little. She didn’t really, she still looked pale and twitchy.

“Yeah, of course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be ready?” said Willow, the lies coming so easily to her numb lips. Her tongue felt numb, too.

“It’s okay to not be ready,” said Alex, taking Willow’s hand in her own. “Like I said, I can wait for as long as you need.”

“But it’s stupid!” Willow blurted, her fears finally rushing to the surface until she couldn’t stand it anymore. Tears fell from her eyes, but this time, she didn’t try to stop them. She couldn’t, even if she’d tried. “We’ve been dating for months, and you’ve been so patient, and it’s not like I’m a virgin and it’s stupid to wait for so long, I know it is, I know I’m too shy when it comes to this stuff and that’s why I’ll never be loved.” She panted once she’d finished, hiccuping on a sob.

“Come here,” said Alex, her voice gentle. She held her arms out and Willow stepped into them, clinging to Alex so that she didn’t have to cling to herself. Alex rested her chin atop Willow’s head, the soft purple hair warming her chin just as her touch warmed Willow.

“I’m sorry,” said Willow into Alex’s chest. “I brought you over here for sex, and I just… cried on you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay,” said Alex, stroking her hand down Willow’s hair. “I’ve been telling you this whole time, it’s okay to not be ready. Sex is great, yeah, but I don’t need it. Your happiness is more important than that.” Willow’s eyes blurred with tears as she sniffled.

“I’m sorry,” said Willow again. Alex kissed the top of her head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Willow,” said Alex. “I promise. You can take as long as you need, it’s fine.”

“I know,” said Willow, angry at her own doubts for making her wait. For making Alex wait. Because she wanted this, it was just…

“I’ll wait for you,” said Alex, drawing back a little to look Willow in the eyes. “I’ll wait forever, if I need to.” For once, Willow believed her. And her doubts let her believe her girlfriend. Because Alex had never pushed, had never asked for more, had never even suggested it except once when she’d asked Willow about it, she’d always waited for Willow to make the first move. Except for the first kiss, and asking her out on a date. But everything else…

“I want to do this,” said Willow, letting her breath out in a rush. “With you. Right now.”

“You don’t need to do this for me,” said Alex.

“No, I got all dressed up and all ready and now that I’ve just vented all over you… I think I’m ready,” said Willow.

“Think or know?” asked Alex. Willow lifted her head from Alex’s chest and kissed her, pressing closer to her so that Alex could feel just how much she wanted this. Willow unbelted her robe, letting it fall open, bringing Alex’s hands to her skin so that Alex could feel the warm skin. Willow moaned softly into the kiss as Alex’s hands roved, coming to rest on her waist.

And when at last she pulled away, Willow discovered that the nerves had vanished. She really was ready. Still nervous, yes, but not as panic-stricken. This was just the normal nerves of having sex for the first time with her girlfriend.

“What do you think?” asked Willow, grinning. Alex grinned back at her, her eyes taking in Willow’s body. And Willow felt proud, despite the scars, despite the normal blemishes that came with having a body.

“Wash your face and have a drink of water,” said Alex, kissing Willow again. “I’ll wait for you in your bedroom.”

“Okay,” said Willow, the butterflies starting up again. It was happening, it was real, she was really going to have sex with Alex. She almost felt like she was losing her virginity all over again, only this time… she didn’t feel quite so rushed. She had to wash more tears away by the time she made it to the bathroom.

And then, after drinking a glass of water, Willow made her way to her bedroom, her heart beginning to pick up speed as she approached the door. She stepped inside after taking a few deep breaths, and then, her breath almost stopped when she saw Alex. Or rather, what little Alex was wearing. Gone were the usual cargo pants, hoodie, and hat. Instead, Alex sat on the bed in her underwear and sports bra, her golden hair tumbling around her shoulders and her muscles on full display.

“Wow,” said Willow quietly, licking her lips. She couldn’t the deny the effect a nearly-nude Alex had on her, though it wasn’t the first time she’d seen her like this. They’d gone to the beach a few times, and Alex loved to swim. That and sometimes, when Alex was working particularly hard, she’d strip down to her sports bra or singlet top (if she was wearing one beneath her shirt).

“Come on,” said Alex, beckoning her over. Willow shut the bedroom door behind her, her feet pulling her across the carpeted floor until she reached the bed. Alex held her hand out and Willow took it, letting Alex pull her onto the bed until they knelt facing each other.

“Sorry,” said Willow, noticing she was staring at every part of Alex her eyes landed on. Of course she knew that Alex had a good body, but damn. And she’d be lying if she said that she hadn’t fantasised about Alex using her strength.

“No, go ahead, drink it in,” said Alex. “And you can touch if you want.” She winked, and that was all Willow needed to press her lips to Alex’s again and let her hands travel down Alex’s body, feeling the firm muscles beneath her hands. She was a little shy about touching Alex’s breasts, though, her fingers skirting over the curve of one.

“Are you sure?” asked Willow, looking up at her. Alex nodded, pulling Willow’s hand to her breast, and Willow inhaled sharply, letting her fingers grope and squeeze a little. Feeling a little braver, Willow hooked her fingers beneath the bottom of the sports bra, looking at Alex.

“Go ahead,” said Alex, her eyes dark with lust. Willow pulled Alex’s sports bra off, her face burning as she drank in the sight of Alex’s bare breasts, the nipples already hard. Willow looked away for a moment, blushing, feeling like she shouldn’t be looking at this. But then, making up her mind, Willow unhooked the clasp of her lingerie bra, pulling it off so that they were even. And now, it was Alex’s turn to stare.

“You can touch,” said Willow, though she still felt nervous. “Take control.” Maybe Alex taking control would help her feel better, and maybe she desperately wanted her girlfriend to use her strength and take control.

“Are you sure?” asked Alex. Willow nodded, arching her chest towards Alex a little. And Alex kissed her, a kiss that quickly grew into all tongue and lips and soft moans as Alex gradually pressed Willow onto her back. Willow stared up at her, feeling a little dazed and more than a little wet. But she was ready. She wanted this.

“Finger me,” said Willow, her pussy fluttering as the words passed her lips. She’d never really been so bold before, never wanted to be. But with Alex, she felt her confidence growing.

Alex trailed her fingers down Willow’s body at first, stroking down Willow’s side and legs before coming back up to her panties. It wasn’t really a thong, Willow hadn’t felt brave enough for that, but they were certainly skimpier than her usual underwear. She moaned as Alex stroked her fingers over the outside of her panties, cupping the mound. She could feel her heart in her ears.

Alex pulled Willow’s panties down, her fingers stroking through Willow’s folds and making her almost whimper in her desire.

“Alex,” Willow murmured, looking down at her girlfriend. Alex looked at her. “I want more.”

Alex gave her girlfriend a grin that sent heat directly to her loins, then stroked her fingers down to the entrance of Willow’s pussy. Willow trembled in anticipation, but Alex didn’t leave her in suspense for long before she pushed her finger inside, moving it around and making Willow moan.

The callouses on Alex’s fingers felt wonderful as she fingered Willow’s pussy while rubbing her clit. Willow moaned, moving her hips to get more friction, and Alex added another finger inside her girlfriend.

Willow gave a cry of delight as Alex’s fingers rubbed the right spot in just the right way, making pleasure shoot through her. For the first time, she was glad for Alex’s experience if it meant that she knew how to bring her girlfriend more pleasure than ever before. Her orgasm gripped her so suddenly, she almost didn’t realise it until she was clenching around Alex’s fingers and crying out in pleasure, arching her back and moving her hips for more. And Alex gave her more until Willow felt like little more than a puddle of boneless goo.

Willow stared up at Alex, panting, her heart still thumping in her chest. That had been the best orgasm she’d ever had, better than… well, she didn’t want to think about her ex, but she’d never felt quite so good in sex. It gave her the confidence needed to sit up and kiss Alex, pushing her girlfriend down onto her back and changing their positions. Right down to Alex looking up at Willow while Willow fingered the edge of Alex’s panties.

“Why, hello there,” said Alex, grinning up at her. Willow grinned down at her, unsure if this newfound confidence was from Alex or just from that great orgasm. But whatever it was, she was grateful for it as she pulled down Alex’s panties and cupped her mound, very much enjoying the wetness. And, if she was honest, she was relieved that Alex hadn’t shaved either. She didn’t feel quite so alone.

“You’ve created a monster,” said Willow, grinning.

“No, I just made you blossom into a beautiful flower,” said Alex, heart thudding as she gazed up at her girlfriend. She loved this look on Willow. Gone was the shy girl who’d needed her friend to set up a date for her, who’d quivered at the very idea of sleeping with someone, who’d rather do anything but confess her true feelings.

“So, you’ve heard the joke, right?” asked Willow, her fingers curling in the air above Alex’s pussy. “Bassists do it faster, drummers do it harder?” Alex nodded, liking where this was going. “Well, I’m both a bassist and a drummer.” She grinned, Alex returning her grin as her pussy pulsed with the promise.

“Excellent,” said Alex, grinning. Willow nodded, looking so confident, and stroked her fingers over Alex’s pussy gently, like strumming a guitar, before she slipped a finger inside. Alex moaned, parting her legs a little wider as Willow started to thrust her finger in and out. She added another one after a little, concentrating as she slammed her fingers into Alex’s pussy harder, faster, making her girlfriend moan beneath her.

Alex’s moans urged Willow on, making her forget about her nerves, about not doing right, about everything but the feeling of Alex’s pussy around her fingers, the sound of Alex moaning, the look on Alex’s face when Willow glanced up at her. The heated gaze made her heart flip. And here she’d been mildly worried that she wouldn’t be able to bring her girlfriend as much pleasure as Alex had brought her. She needn’t have worried at all.

Alex’s orgasm took Willow with surprise by the intensity of it, Alex’s body thrashing a little as she clenched around Willow’s fingers.

“Man, you’re good, Willow,” said Alex, thrusting her hips up. Willow grinned, proud of herself as she slowly withdrew her fingers. But instead of withdrawing them completely, she instead focused on Alex’s clit, rubbing until Alex almost screamed from the pleasure of it. Alex was panting by the time Willow had finished with her, wiping her fingers on the sheet.

Alex pulled her girlfriend into a cuddle, their lips meeting as they pressed closer together. Willow felt like the good feeling would never end, like it would last forever. But then, why were tears slipping down her cheeks?

“Pretend that was your first time,” Alex whispered. “When you’re ready, when you had a great time, when the girl with you loved you with all her heart.” Willow swallowed thickly, burying her head into her girlfriend’s shoulder. For once, she didn’t blush at the sight of Alex’s breast so close to her face.

“I wish that was my first time,” said Willow. “Maybe if I’d been like that with-”

“No,” said Alex, pressing her finger to Willow’s lips. “As far as I’m concerned, that was your first time. And honestly, you rocked my world. Not that I’m surprised.” Willow laughed, but she still wept.

“I loved it too,” said Willow. “And I love you, Alex. I really do. Hard as it was to even do that.”

“I can’t imagine the pain you’ve been through,” said Alex. “That bitch ruined you.” Willow nodded, swallowing back tears.

“I didn’t know if I’d ever get past it,” said Willow. “If I could ever love again or share my body again, but I did.” She looked up at Alex, tears in her eyes. “Please, please don’t leave me, I couldn’t take it.”

“I’m not going to leave you,” said Alex, her hand stroking over Willow’s hair. “I promise.” Willow squeezed her eyes shut, more tears slipping out. “I love you.”

Every fibre of her being wanted Willow to just accept that, to believe that, but there was still a part, a small part, the part that had been hurt so badly in the past, that rebelled against the idea. How could anyone love her, it said. Alex would stray, it said. They all left in the end, it said. You’re not enough, it said.

But here was Alex, pulling Willow into her arms to press kisses to her lips, jaw, any part that she could reach.

“I love you, Willow,” said Alex. “So much.”

“I love you too, Alex,” said Willow, her voice sounding tiny and broken. “And it scares me how much I care about you.”

“Love is scary like that,” said Alex. “But that just means that you care. And caring is never a bad thing.” Willow tried not to sob as she lost herself in Alex’s embrace, clinging tightly to her, hoping that someday, the words would sink in and that she’d feel safe.

But Alex stayed. The whole night, Alex stayed, helping Willow make dinner before they sat on the couch together to watch TV. And then, when they turned in for the night, Alex laid down beside Willow in her nest of pillows and blankets. And she kissed her. And Willow started to feel like maybe things would be okay.


End file.
